Charterhouse 1st XI v Winchester College
On: Tuesday 3 October 2017
Venue: Away
Score: 7 - 0
Oh Charterhouse. How you play with our emotions. The last four games have seen the former FA Cup winners concede 10 and score 11 goals. Today saw an away match versus Winchester, with Charterhouse notching 7 goals with none conceded. Verily it is a rollercoaster. But today the boys were properly at it. After a delayed start, while we sought infirmed players in the health centre and while we vainly tried to contact laundry to get some clean kit delivered, we were finally on the road, striving to meet a kick off time of 2.30 pm, which ended up being 3.30 pm. While ‘Sandringham Time’ is 30 minutes behind GMT, Charterhouse time is a full hour. First there was Westminster, now Winchester. But we love a rushed kick off. We revel in it. And so the match started with a minimal warm up. Because we’d forgotten the balls as well.
But it hardly mattered. Within five minutes Charterhouse took the lead when Briggs diverted a Porter cross. And then Alex Ford bestrode the stage like Sir Patrick Stewart or the little girl that plays Matilda in the west end. Ford was more Agatha Trunchbull than Matilda though. But without the historic murder charge which had left poor Miss Honey orphaned of course. He was an absolute terror at Winchester, carrying the ball with elan and scoring two ridiculous goals. There was an argument to say that the first goal was a chip. But not for me. It was a delicious clip which just nestled into the far corner of the net, like a young chick seeking the comfort of its buxom mother. The second was even better, kissing the far right hand post as it screamed into the goal from the inside left channel. Then Jay Porter, alive and eager, thrust his way into the box before doing all he possibly could to smash a shot over the bar without scoring. Fortunately however, he was able to get on the scoresheet by way of the crossbar and it was 4 - 0. And then it was 5, when the delicate shins of Sam Browne skipped into the box and converted a beautiful, flowing move.
It was a fabulous day in the sunshine. There was little need for the gilet today and as the sun smothered the autumnal landscape in its basking glow, Charterhouse set out to dominate the second half too, creating a bewildering number of chances but only taking two. How we purred as Campbell diverted a Ford cross-shot to make it six; how we rejoiced when William ‘Deer Hunter’ Dovell smashed home his first of the season. How we guffawed in disbelief as first Porter, then Bruce, then Dovell all snatched at gilt-edged chances and spurned them.
Ultimately it was immensely gratifying to trot out victors on a difficult away pitch. We’ve taken some knocks over recent days. We’ve been like Teresa May, dealing with leaks from all angles and hanging on for dear life in the wake of ever more organised opposition. But today we emerged from the bunker, reasserted our authority and made a strong statement of intent. And together we can build a stronger, more prosperous Charterhouse. That’ll put Johnson in his box.
